A glimpse into our autism: pain

Dear friend,

Yesterday he said mummy, my tummy is hurting. He was doubled over clutching at his side...

Oh no! My first thought was; sick! Get the bowl...

Sick is a big huge enormous problem! The terrible feeling of losing control of his body sends him spinning into panic...

Normally the only warning we get is seconds before when he announces my tummy feels hot...

Two hands holding jigsaw pieces together



When he has pain it is more complicated. His senses don't tell him exactly where the problem is. It's like the brain links have been corrupted, he knows something isn't right but exactly what and where??? 

How do you describe something that you don't understand or even feel? 

He wasn't sick so my next thought was appendicitis! OK this probably sounds dramatic, like I'm totally overreacting but... He is never ill! Or rather he never tells us he is ill unless he's literally dying...

There have been several parenting fails, like the time I trapped his finger in the door, when he had a really bad throat infection that we missed, when he was so sick that he almost dehydrated and legs  that are constantly filled with bruises that he doesn't know the cause of... His threshold for pain is really high!

By announcing that he had pain, we knew it had to be bad. 

Of course it would be late Saturday afternoon when he announces this. What do you do? Dr or no Dr?  My brain began to spin into an abyss of potential disasters, from a perforated appendix to a strangulated hernia but Hubby took a more measured approach and we decided on a plan of watchful waiting. 

We watched and waited...  He ate little and slept even less. But he only seemed to have pain when he moved...  Muscles?

So I asked again:


Did anything happen at school...maybe in gym?
Oh yeh! Someone threw the ball really hard in my tummy. 

I wanted to kiss him and hit him at the same time. All that worry, all that stress. But I can't blame him...

Sometimes it's like being stuck in a never ending game of Jeopardy

Yesterday he said mummy, my tummy is hurting. He was doubled over clutching at his side...



A glimpse into autism is a series of short letters that explore how autism effects us on a day to day basis. Disclaimer:  this is our experience not all autistic people are the same.

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