A glimpse into our autism: Lost..

Dear son,

Yesterday I lost you. Not physically, physically you were there...

But the whole day felt like I was stuck inside a dream.

My words were encased in bubbles drifting off just out of your view and disappearing with a sudden pop as you answered, What?

Two hands holding jigsaw pieces together


The world around you seemed to have speeded up whilst you stood still, oblivious to what was happening. Like you were viewing the world on long exposure, caught in our light trails not sure which way to turn, what to do next...

Did you eat your breakfast? Have you got clean underpants? Did you clean your teeth? Clean your teeth...clean your teeth. Where are your shoes? Have you brushed your hair?

"What's wrong with you today?" I ask in a fit of frustration and immediately feel the guilt...

I'm sorry!!!

I know what's wrong, it's the school holiday and whilst most kids are settling into the holiday vibe and feeling chilled and happy all you feel is confusion, anxiety, lost...

I need to slow down instead of trying to make you speed up.

To become immersed in those beautiful light trails with you...

Help you feel safe...
Butterfly with coloured jigsaw pieces pattern with text

Yesterday I lost you. Not physically, physically you were there...






A glimpse into our autism is my new series. Short letters that explore how autism effects us on a day to day basis.



Disclaimer:  this is our experience not all autistic people are the same.





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