Stop shaming my Mummy tummy!

Dear friend,

Recently I read a post where a Blogger was talking about getting into shape after having a baby, she looked fantastic, what an inspiration! It included a selfie looking extremely fit, healthy and toned. My initial thought was wow! But when I read the message it made me feel pissed off uncomfortable. Despite stating that her intention was not to brag she went on to say it's easy to make excuses... and to talk about needing willpower and determination. But is it ever that simple?

I'm what you would call a big lass,  I've always been a big lass, it's who I am! Probably genes (and that's not an excuse) no matter how hard I try I will never be that cute, little, skinny girl. But being big never bothered me. I could hold my own with any of the boys, I was strong, self assured ... Being big only affected my ability to wear high heels and I did prefer taller boyfriends. I was pretty and witty enough to attract attention. And I certainly wasn't prepared to appear helpless to attract any man! My body size or shape didn't worry me until post uni when admittedly I had put on a few pounds with the help of alcohol.

But this isn't a post about being fat or thin... I am not going to give you the story of my weight struggles and my gym obsessions or how knee problems stopped me exercising and contributed to putting on extra weight... It's a post about hating feeling judged by anyone. I hate being judged and I hate the implication that because I am not a stick insect, I lack willpower or determination. I lack neither of these...I lack interest...



90% of my time I don't think about my shape or size. Don't get me wrong I want to look good, I like buying new clothes and try to keep on trend but I don't obsess. Clothes are bought for fit and comfort. High waisted jeans were a brilliant discovery as were jeggings and who doesn't love a baggy T or Maxi dress. I do my hair and make-up every morning but I may not look at my reflection again until lunch time when I nip to the loo and squint at myself in the badly lit mirror. There are a million other things buzzing around my mind...

It's nothing to do with willpower - It's not that I can't say no, it's that I don't want to! We don't go out often and our treat is spending an evening watching TV with a lovely picnic of bread and pate, nuts, olives and cheese and a large glass of something cold and usually alcoholic. It is our pleasure and I enjoy my life...

Judging women


My self worth is not based on how I look! I feel good about myself, I have a positive self image, I feel loved and wanted by my husband. My husband doesn't look at me and go... Your belly wobbles or Have you put on some weight? He doesn't care that my bum has it's own postcode. He loves me... Like ME! Lardy arse and all. There is nothing superficial here, beauty is more than skin deep...

Is it an age thing? Maybe it's something to do with the secret power you get when you reach your 40's that gives you a sudden kick up the backside and forces you to focus on what really matters to you?! Isn't trying to be healthy better than trying to be thin or have a flat tummy?

Time! Time is extremely short with work, housework, the kids out of school clubs, therapy for my son etc  How do you find the time to go to the gym 5 times a week? I choose to spend my free time with my family - having quality time together. Maybe some people would say; I should put myself first. But I am! I want to be with my family...

I don't have a problem with people sharing their successes...If looking toned is your thing then fine! But don't shame others who don't share your passion! Support or advise those who want it and leave the rest of us alone! We already live in a culture that is telling us that thin is beautiful, that mums should lose their tummy in 3 months that we should all look like this... God forbid we stand out or dare to be different...

Even though I can see you look amazing, sorry I don't want to look like you. I want to be me, crazy, loving, caring, fun, clever/stupid unique me! So stop shaming my mummy tummy ...


Sorry for the rant. I will return to positive, happy Catie now, I promise! Great to get that off my ample chest though. 


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