Just imagine you came downstairs for a drink on Christmas Eve and bumped into the big man in the red suit and he granted you one wish. Would you wish that autism could be cured?
This question has been going around my head for some time now and I must admit my feelings do tend to swing, usually in relation to what kind of day we've had. So on reflection I think this has more to do with how you see the autism. I will try to explain.
On a good day 'Autism' can make things interesting, see things from another perspective. It can also fade into the background and be a less significant aspect of O's make up. People may say, he doesn't really seem autistic. It is only one small part of the whole that makes up my child.
On other days it becomes the only thing I can see. Holidays lack routine=difficult, sharing with others=difficult, new food= difficult, playing/losing at games= difficult, Controlling temper= difficult, social time with family= difficult. On days like this we lose the battle. I feel like I have lost my child to the autism.
On many blogs/websites I have read amazing parents stating, I wouldn't change him for the world! It makes me feel ashamed, admitting that given the power to change my child I would! However, I don't see it as wanting to change my son, I want to change the autism. I see the autism as separate to my son, like an illness or disease not part of him.
As Santa didn't bring me a wish this year, I have found a very worthy New Years resolution instead. I will change my perspective.
I will not allow the autism to let me lose sight of my son. Instead I will accept it because, if I can't accept it how can he?