One moment in time with Imperfect Mum

Welcome to one moment in time, a guest posts series, where bloggers share the stories behind special or significant photographs. I am kicking off the series with a photograph from our album. 

It may be a little grainy but I love this photo of the big lad and my nana. It has a really special place in my heart as this is probably the last shot of her that I have. 

Nana Dot was a major influence in my life growing up. She was an amazing woman, full of life and energy but most of all kindness. Her door was always open to anyone in need. Wherever nana was she brought fun, light and happiness. She was also very small, 4 feet 11 1/2 inches to be precise (she always said the 1/2) but what she lacked in stature she more than made up for in personality!

This was the last time we saw nana in her own home. We were over in the UK for the holidays and popped in to see her. I remember the big lad running in excitedly because he wanted to find out if he was bigger than nana. He ran into the kitchen shouting, Nana am I bigger than you now? Her reply made us all laugh, Wait a minute darling while I stand up straight. 

The look on his face should tell you that he was indeed taller and this photograph was taken as evidence. 

I have so many amazing memories of my nana; Saturday night sleepovers, the smell of pressed powder and lipstick, playing queenie who's got the ball, running for the ice cream van, a pint with a half glass, singing Doris Day songs on a Sunday morning, handwritten letters with a five pound note tucked inside... But this has to be one of my favourites. Proudly standing with her great grandson. A very special moment in time!

Read a poem to my nana here... 

Do you have a special photograph and story you would like to share? Then I would love to hear from you!

#a blogging good time #46

Join Katie and I in a fabulous community of supportive bloggers.
Our linky runs from Thursday to Saturday and all bloggers are welcome to add any type of post...
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Featured posts this week:

I chose this post from Mother of Teenagers.

For Katie's featured post pop over to Mummy in a Tutu.

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#ablogginggoodtime Linky:

  • The linky will be open from 6am Thursday – 6am Saturday GMT.

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The Dutch are a strange bunch because...

Dear friend,

Tomorrow  is a special day in Holland. It is King's day. A national Holiday where the Dutch celebrate their King's birthday and general Dutchness and join in with loads of festivities most of which will include a beer or two. It is a fun day for all! 

On days like this I usually find myself thinking about our choice to live in Holland and the differences between Dutch and English culture more. Rather naively, I didn't anticipate many differences but I guess when you fall in love you are looking for similarities not differences. After more than ten years living in Holland, I notice the differences less but they are there.

The Dutch are a strange bunch because...

We are not all on the spectrum!

Dear friend,

Twice this week I've heard this phrase used in slightly different forms;

I'm so Autistic or
I'm sure s/he's on the spectrum. 

Twice this week it has stopped me dead in my tracks but both times I've said nothing just smiled or said, That's OK!  As it has suddenly dawned on the other person who they are talking to and they have immediately back tracked or apologised. But is it OK?

I’ve seen/heard the word “autistic” used as an analogy for:
  • Abnormal social behaviour
  • Obsessiveness over something or someone 
  • An advanced knowledge of something
  • Fidgeting
I don't want to come across as an arse difficult and I don't want to be a bore about autism but every time I say nothing it feels like I am letting my son down.

It is not OK to use a disability in this way...

The fact that people believe that their husband/son/friend may be autistic tells me that they most likely misunderstand what the autism spectrum actually means. The autistic spectrum is not linear, you can not be a little bit autistic (that is a myth). Please see this amazing cartoon from Rebecca Burgess that explains it brilliantly. Autistic people will have a set of individual traits in different areas of the spectrum they are not all the same!

I often hear people saying analogous things, and not just about autism. How about, “I have to keep my house so clean and everything put away. I am so OCD" or " I can't remember anything I'm sure I have alzheimer's." This type of language is said often in jest but does that make it right?

Perhaps the use of 'autistic' as a personality quirk has increased because of a common misconception that has been bandied around.

Everyone is a little autistic! 

Articles in leading newspapers have run with sensationalist headlines declaring that Every one of us is on the spectrum.

No we are not all on the spectrum! 

Autism is complex... 
  • Experiencing a taste of what autistic people live with does not make someone autistic, not even a little bit. I like to know whats happening and I don't like last minute changes but I am not autistic. The ‘autistic’ analogy latches on to some of the superficial characteristics of the typical autistic person. It is at best Stereotyping and at worst insulting. 
  • Trying to normalise my sons disability by stating, I do that too or I'm sure my friend is autistic as he doesn't like change, is not showing solidarity with me. You can’t support difference by pretending that it doesn’t exist.
  • It feels as though it has almost become trendy to have a touch of autism like in the 'noughties' when geekiness suddenly became cool? Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates apparently all 'have a touch of Aspergers' if you believe some press.  (Can you feel my eyes rolling?) 

Autism is a clinically identifiable disorder. Getting a diagnosis is complex, it is emotionally challenging and the autistic label does not come easily. Don't belittle it.

Please do not use analogous language. Don't reinforce the stereotypes! If you hear others doing so then challenge their thinking. Be brave.

I am not comfortable with analogies about autism as I believe it perpetuates unhelpful stereotypes. Autism is not just a personality quirk. 

What do you think? 

#PointShoot Week #6

Do you love making photos of your family? Do you like to record the everyday memories you are making? Then this could be the linky for you. Come and share your photo story posts with me. You can share your days out snaps or any fun, special, touching moments from your week. It can be one photo (including Instagram posts) or a series of shots with words or without.

Welcome to #PointShoot Week #6

This week's featured post comes from Otis and Us with this beautiful photo of her daughter at the wishing tree. I love how Mrs S has captured the wonder of this special moment.

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A photograph is the pause button of life.

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Link up your weekend pictures!


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Introducing one moment in time, a guest posts series, where bloggers share the stories behind special or significant photographs. 

Do you have a special photograph and story you would like to share? Then I would love to hear from you! All you need is one photograph with a 300-500 word post describing why it is significant to you. Share your memories with us...

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